Self-Soothing for Self Esteem

I Want my Mommy! Why We Never Outgrow This Need

I was talking with a friend the other day, whose daughter Nancy is pregnant with her second child. Nancy had gotten into the habit of calling her mom in tears just about every time she felt stressed out—and with the expectation that her mom would “fix it.”

My friend was laughing as she said, “I told her in a light-hearted way that she has to step up and be an adult now. I explained that it’s not OK anymore for her to call me every time she loses it, like she has her whole life. That’s been our relationship, you know.

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Dr Christianne Northrup

Mom—So Glad You Got a Life

I talked to my friend Jane in a local restaurant a few weeks after her mother died. Her description of her relationship with her mother—and her sense of loss—touched me deeply. Because their relationship had been so good for so long, her grief was normal and expected—tinged with love, not regret or longing. Jane’s mother was very independent and didn’t make Jane responsible for her happiness. In many ways, this is the kind of relationship we all long for—one of ease, without guilt or obligation.

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