Overcoming Fear of Change: How to Be Your Own Midwife and Mother

Helping You to Birth the Best in You

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Creativity Motherhood

I’ve long held the place of midwife and mother in my work, both delivering babies and in helping women deliver the best of themselves in other ways.

To birth something new, whether that’s a baby, a book, a seminar or talk, a new relationship, or a new career, you have to have courage and faith. You also have to be ready to embrace change. In the following video, I discuss how to embrace change for greatest results.

 

Change is tough for many. As humans, we really want things to stay the same. We’re creatures of habit—and so am I—even for small things. 

When I redid my bathroom, I kept going back to the place where my toothbrush had been, only to remember it was in a different location.

However, if you don’t know how to embrace change, you won’t know how to give birth to the new in a way that is ecstatic.

Overcoming Fear of Change

You may not be aware of this, but it’s possible to give birth in an orgasmic way. Believe it or not, the energy that gets the baby in, gets the baby out. And that’s true biologically, but it’s also true in your personal life. To tap into this incredible and powerful energy, you’ll want to learn to “surf with” change.

Here’s How

When you feel resistance to change, just be present with it. Grieve what’s no longer going to be there. That’s the only way to usher all the good stuff in.

You have to feel it and move forward to give birth to the new thing. Remember that when the good stuff comes in, it brings in joy. And joy can flush out the loneliness, the fear, and the other “stuff” that is no longer serving you.

I have stood by while hundreds of women gave birth to beautiful, normal babies. Just before the time to start pushing came, nearly every woman would say, “I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I don’t know how to do this!” And suddenly, there was a beautiful baby. While she didn’t know how to do it with her intellect, her body and nature knew just what to do.

You know how to do it, too. And your intellect may be the last thing to catch on. Have faith. Have courage. Keep breathing. And simply know that you’re programmed for new beginnings.

I’ve been at this for a long time, and many of you have followed me for years. Some of you were even my patients back in the day. And all of us—as a very big, global community—have gone through childbearing together, menopause together, and are now moving into the wisdom years together. This time of life is the perfect time to grow and thrive.

I’ve had my share of changes and births. I went from a one-on-one clinical practice to then bringing my message through books, PBS specials, and this website, www.DrNorthrup.com. We’ve created our own cultural portal—a health portal with a way to interact day-to-day as a community—that never would have been possible 20 years ago.

Women from all over Planet Earth are coming together in this community—which you’re a part of right here, right now. I am thrilled to have been a midwife for this community and these sacred processes. As you birth your next creation, know that I am there for all of you as you have been there for me.

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6 Secrets for Overcoming the Fear of Change - Dr. Christiane Northrup #agelessgoddess #courage #change #faith

Last Updated: May 5, 2015

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.

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  1. Shoshanna
    3 years ago

    I am over 55 but am always asked out on dates by younger men . Yes , I am tall and thin w Chesnut I hair and blue eyes. I am at best attractive but certainly no mega beauty . My suitors have ranged in age from the mid twenties to fourty . Were I to drop dead in front of a man my age , surely he would not even notice . I don’t find men my age attractive so I just thanked my lucky stars and gave it no furthur thought . Until tonight . Iapparently my total disregard of my chronological age , my participation in activities for ” youngins ” ( for ex rock concerts ) my lack of concern regarding that which is whispered loud enough for me to hear and the designation Cougar don’t engender a minute of consternation . So according to the doctor my lack of a conception of my actual age , my sexy unfettered sexy deameanor , my participation in activities regardless of what is considered the ” appropriate for my age ” and my total lack of concern regarding the stares of others has allowed me to manifest what I desire : younger men .
    Women , if you are tired of Levitra and guys that fall asleep at 10 pm focus on your appearance , not your age . Let guys know in that subtle but obvious way that you are a tiger in bed . Be proud to be seen with a younger man – let the world know that you are attractive and desirable and enchant men you find handsome with no regard for your difference in age .
    I guess the moral of the story is : if you disregard your age so will others . Many women say its impossible to just forget about how old they are . Maybe that’s b/c they have inextricably interwined their identity and their age .
    May be its immature but I just give my age no thought . Why ? Don’t know . It’s just part of who I am . The only down side is when my sons friends come over the house and exclaim :”Robby ; is THAT your mother ? Or I walk into the house still in the process of removing a motorcycle helmet and the ” is that your mother” stuff gets repeated but this time by a different group of guys . When he was younger my son asked why I couldn’t look and act like his friends moms . I told him that they were ugly and boring : not my style . But now that he is 20 he’s glad his mom isn’t conventional . He recently told me : “you have showed me that it’s totally important to be who your body truely feels comfortable being and that to live any other way is self imposed imprisonment hidden under the guise of social convention . ” I couldn’t have said it better myself .

  2. Kam
    4 years ago

    Beloved Goddess, thank you for sharing wisdom. I’m in the final weeks of carrying my star child and very much looking forward to birthing this Divine Soul through the sacredness of the body which created it. At 43, I have had many doctors share their fears, yet have stepped back from their truth and followed my own wisdom. My body really does know what to do, as does my baby. The joy and bliss of pregnancy has filled me with abundant love, grace and humility and I am so welcoming this wonderful Being onto our Earth and nurture and guide and love and support its soul purpose. Thank you for All you do and have done for All of Life along your journey and inspiration you are. Abundant love and blessings to you and yours

  3. Nanzy
    4 years ago

    Thank you for your words of wisdom Dr. Northrup . I have just ended an almost 3 year relationship. You think now that I am 50 I would know better. This man was 9 years younger, but I actually looked better! From the beginning I was aware that he had an issue with my age. All I can say is that it took it’s toll after time, to the point that I felt so insecure. My self-esteem hit rock bottom! Many times I tried to get out, I knew it was not a healthy relationship. He would convince me by telling me what I needed to hear, I would go into denial. Naturally I want to be the nurturer, I wanted to be needed. (Oh, and to make things worse there was less & less intimacy, all I became to him was a “comfort pillow, security blanket etc. The sad thing about it I allowed to happen. I have never been so emotional in my life, felt I was going crazy in and out of the relationship! Disappointed, sad, hurt, angry confused, and I have had many other break ups, but this felt miserable even though I knew it was for the best.
    Menopause seems to have played a big part is all of. So now that I have vented… reading & watching your videos lately has been a blessing! I am not alone, I am reassured -I mustn’t fear or resist change, I have to surrender, just let go and have faith. Be present
    I know it will be hard and uncomfortable but I will be alright. I will nurture myself, be patient and heal ~ I can do this!
    Mahalo & Aloha Blessings

  4. Doreen
    4 years ago

    One thing that has not changed, when you write, my brain listens. I like what I “hear” . ..for that I thank you. You are a teacher…and we are fortunate to read your shared input, viewpoints and insight on making the experience of living this life a full one. We can go to a bakery and buy a slice or we can learn to bake our cake and eat it too…{to share it, of course!} :)..thanks for sharing your brain!!

  5. Gratitude in bucket loads to you Christiane (and thanks to your Mom for the elegant spelling of your name

  6. Roberta
    4 years ago

    Dr. Northrup,
    You have been an inspiration & mentor to me for many years. I was widowed suddenly 4 years ago & am still struggling to find my way. I have more physical pain now than mental and emotional pain, but I think maybe it has just shifted from my broken heart to my broken knees & ankles. Can you think about addressing this oh- so. – challenging stage of a woman’s life? I am deeply grateful for your insights & advice.
    Your friend,
    Roberta

  7. pauline
    4 years ago

    Dear DR. Northrup I am overjoyed to have participated in the life confirming programme Ageless Goddess with you and the amazing tribe of women who have inspired me too. I am a young 50 year old woman and have been blessed with great energy and enthusiasm for life. Looking forward fills me with excitement because I feel more confident than I ever did before in my life. Age has certainly brought with it great wisdom if only to know that I am a choice maker and that every choice I make influences. How amazing I feel to mother my 9 year old boy who came to me after losing his twin early in the pregnancy and after 4 other miscarriages. My conversations with this special child are sometimes so advanced as he is exposed more and more to living a full life, surrounded by tremendous love and the language of encouragement. I have become a vulture for knowledge, particularly of the scientific type. I did not have a traditional college education as I became a police woman in Ireland directly after finishing school. I changed career several times to find my life purpose, from business owner to airline cabin crew to yoga and meditation teacher and now as a life coach and energy healer. As I am currently writing my first book I love the essence of your message on this video. The intellect can block our true potential so I have learned to get out of the way and allow nature to lead me on this merry dance. Thank you Thank you Thank you, I admire you so much, you are doing phenomenal work and you have made me very happy to get so close to you and to myself in such a unique way.

  8. Joanne Young
    4 years ago

    Dr Northrup, Your insight and wisdom have led me to embrace the second half of my life with as much joy and happiness that I can muster. It hasn’t been easy due to losses and health issues but whenever there is a problem I refer to your books and website and even calling your 1800 Amata line and I get my answer!!! You have enriched my life in ways that I never thought possible. Thankful for having encountered your wisdom and essence in this universe! God bless!!!

  9. Cary
    4 years ago

    Thank you for being there for all of us.

  10. Leah
    4 years ago

    Dear Dr Northrup, thank you for sharing what you know and have seen and have learned. It has been my experiance in child birth that fear plays a massive roll in the overwhelming pain. Your contrast of birth and new beginnings in our life journey is much the same. It’s the fear that keeps us from the Joy and all that life could and ought to be. While I was in labour with my third baby I try something new I asked God, Divine love to come and take away the fear and I also prayed over my body and baby leading up to the birth. I asked that my body would do all that the divine creator intended for it to do to bring forth life, I prayed over individual areas of my body and asked for a labour with out pain. I had a little gas at the beginning but every time I focused on The Lord God my pain went away I was so present for this labour it was Awesome. I have had five natural labours and it still to this day amazes me that our bodies know what to do, and Perfect love the divine casts out fear.
    Thank you for helping us to understand more about our bodies, and that our spirit is just as important. The online 8 week course Ageless Godess is so enjoyable too, thank you. Leah McFarlane. xxx

  11. Helene
    4 years ago

    Sometimes I feel all alone and living in a culture that makes getting older a scary thing makes it worse. But because of what I have learned from you I feel so much better. Connecting with you and your tribe of ageless goddesses makes like so much better. And when you remind me that there is always the divine to support and love us I am over the moon with happiness. Thank you so much for you work.

  12. Angela
    4 years ago

    Dear Lynne, huge change for you! Just taking every day as it comes and being grateful for the blessings. I first saw Dr Northrup when I visited America nearly 30 years ago! She looked very different – what an amazing transformation and so much inspiration for us all!
    I recently lost my beautiful cat of 21 years. I didn’t have her for all that time as she was a rescue cat and then my sister had her when I sold my house and went off traveling for a year. That took so much courage! She was well right up until the last day although in the last 6 weeks she got very frail and her back legs started to go. But she eat and slept well and was so loving and just wanted to sit and be part of everything. Then on the last day she slept most of the day and I stroked her until the evening when she wasn’t able to move any more and then passed peacefully late evening.
    She was such a beautiful friend, companion and presence and much missed. But nature does take it’s course and she lived a long and very happy and contented life.
    Much love.

  13. AJB
    4 years ago

    The complete upheaval of my life still unfolds in perfect timing with menopause. Needless, to say I was terrified at first. Thank You Dr. N and the other wise women in my life. Hearing your similar stories has given me faith, hope and courage. My life is opening up for me in ways I never dreamed possible.

  14. Mary
    4 years ago

    Thank you, Dr Northrup, for validating so many of my deepest feelings. You are truly a Beacon of Light. I have shared you on my Face Book to further your wisdom.

  15. Mary
    4 years ago

    Thanks for being here all these many years. I started with your printed subscription news letter???how many years ago???
    I always appreciate your willingness to share every little thing, a book, a product, a practice, another teacher. I have gleaned soooo much through you & been introduced to amazing positive changes in my life, and in turn pass them on to my personal community. My heart is bursting with love & gratitude in your BEing.

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      Oh Mary– how I LOVE hearing this. I stopped my print newsletter in 2004. That was a true labor of love. 10 years. Every month. How things have changed now. We have this blog, and facebook, and instagram– and the ability to share information so quickly. I find it so reassuring and refreshing. Thank YOU!!!

  16. Alicia Gwilliam
    4 years ago

    Beautiful message and a beautiful messenger! I love the message of our body knows and the intellect is the last to know. I was listening to Dr. Mario Martinez yesterday and he says the same things. I marvel at our body that knows what to do without us directing. I appreciate you embracing change so you can be the midwife for this community.

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      I so love Dr. Mario Martinez and the way he has stepped in to my community to be of service. It’s just exhilarating to me. A new model of co-create abundance. And yes– our bodies truly LOVE us– and that’s why they do what they do. They NEVER betray us– as so many people have been led to believe by the dying paradigm of modern medicine.

  17. Shanna
    4 years ago

    Looking forward to enjoying your wisdom.

  18. Joanna
    4 years ago

    Thank you, Christiane, you are an inspiration.

  19. Celenia
    4 years ago

    Thank you for your mother’s day wishes, Dr. Northrup.

    First of all, let me give you thanks for your work. It is of great help for a big number of older people -like me- who care and praise God for the gift of being healthy and “ready to go on”. I am an avid reader, especially about this topic.

    Recently I discovered among my writings (to myself) something I started when I was in my sixties, after reading it again I decided to continue adding new experiences to it. I thought of it as a seminar. It had been difficult for me to find what I was looking for regarding this topic until I found you. Unfortunately, what you see in magazines, books, etc., is literature about illnesses, problems that must be spinning around older people, and how to live with them. I strongly believe in mind and body working as a whole, cannot be separated.

    My son (whom else?) proudly says mine is a rather different way to focus on older people and that it is worth of being published. Well, I am kind of shy about it. I have never thought of publishing anything I have written.

    I went to college and graduated at the age of 51
    I am 78 now and thanks God always thinking in “what can I do next”?
    I love what you are doing for us, especially for those whose life, character, health, and creativity is still young.

    Happy mother’s day and God bless you,

    Sincerely,
    Celenia Tablante

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      Dear Celenia, I think you should start a blog. And share your thoughts. Remember this– 11,000 plus baby boomers are turning 65 every day!! A trend that started in 2011 and will continue until 2018. This is a HUGE group of individuals who need thought leaders like you– not the “architects of misery” who tell people that decrepitude is their fate. Thanks for sharing!!

  20. Rachelle
    4 years ago

    Very good I am Fearful! I admit! I will try this!

  21. Pam
    4 years ago

    Dr Northrup, you have been there for me, virtually for the past 15 years. I have spoken to you, seen you in action and listen to you weekly. You have given me many gifts from your treasure box of wisdom. Keep going, keep giving and I send all my divine love to you to energize you in all you do. Love and Light. Pam

  22. Linda
    4 years ago

    I am truly enjoying the online Ageless Goddess course. As I greet day as I am in the present, and appreciate my body for all its’ wonderous accomplishments and the beauty of nature around me, for the past few weeks I have decided to look at an unpleasant manifestation, and saying to myself, I am just birthing a new me. Then this morning I find this blog on how to be my own midwife as I birth a new me. I am reminded that all is well, all is in Divine Order and I am right where I am meant to be. Life is good. Thanks Christiane.
    With appreciation, Linda

  23. Lois
    4 years ago

    Dr. Northrup, I am reading your new book, and I imagine you holding my hand as I go through this new change in my life. I have been wanting a new career for many, many years. I am 54 and finally started going back to college. My teacher is now offering me an internship. Along with being thrilled, I am scared. I have been self employed for over near 30 years. Going to school and working a new job part-time; sometimes I can’t believe it. But this is what I have wanted for so long. You have come into my life at precisely the right time. Wish me luck!

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      Hi Lois– congratulations on this BRAND NEW and very EXCITING beginning. Remember that in China, age 60 is considered a “second spring.” You are really just getting started!!

  24. Robbie Biyani
    4 years ago

    You inspire this sixty year old man; thank you for bringing all the positive energy into my life!!

  25. Cindy
    4 years ago

    I too am in the same boat as above commenter. My father who lived with us recently passed away so we no longer need this house. Do we get an apartment in this province near our children and grandchildren, or do we move 3 provinces away where we always had such fun times exploring the area, doing and bring much more than we are here. Hubby is ready for change, he would love to full time rv, me not that but willing to move. Time is changing after taking care of both my parents since 2009 and working, then retiring for my own health reasons. Time to take care of me, a foreign idea in many ways. Do listen to my heart, or my daughter who isn’t too keen on us moving away. But at 58 it’s our time. Now the trip to decide where we want to go….
    Thanks for such wisdom and at a timely period of my life.
    Cindy

  26. Pamela
    4 years ago

    Hi – I’ve literally NEVER responded to another’s comments, any topic, any of the few add-on sites, like this, that I’ve come into. You enumerated many aspects of your life that mirror my own; sorry to say that incl. the reality of my dear helper, Topaz, living out the last of the time that she will share here w/me and her brother, Perry, who is likewise touched by awareness of her health. The Tabby Twosome has owned us for the 15+yrs of their Mittenpaw lives. What I wanted to offer you comes fr. another Hay Hs author whose wisdom has crossed my path in just the last cpl mos. & resonates w/joy in my life: “YOU ARE ALWAYS ALREADY HOME!” Best wishes .. Keep being the success you alrdy are.

  27. Fabiola Berry
    4 years ago

    How liberating to hear your philosophy about aging. I believe old age is horrible and can’t understand why people choose to be old in appearance, the way they think, the lack of mobility.
    Since in my forties I decided I was not going to be old!
    Life has given me good genes, but I have made the best of what life so generously has provided. Good diet, daily exercise, wonderful sex, active mind and always learning new activities to enrich my mind.
    Thank you so much, now I know I am not an oddity, I am just an ageless goddess!
    Love an appreciation to your wonderful words.
    Fabiola

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      EVery time a woman like you posts a comment like you just did, it uplifts ALL OF US!!b And opens the portal to magnificent health and pleasure WIDER!!! I just LOVED reading this. And my nitric oxide levels SOARED!!! THANK YOU for the ride, sister!!!

  28. audrey
    4 years ago

    Dear Cheryl,
    I wish you blessings on this new and exciting part of your life. I am so grateful to hear your words. I also am just giving birth to a new phase in my life and peri menopause too lol. Im glad you say to trust as this is the only way. New Beginnings are exciting but scary. We need to let go of the old to embrace the new and unknown. As I said Exciting but scary.

    Blessings always
    Audrey

  29. Linda Lander
    4 years ago

    Dear Christiane,
    When I discovered you and your work so many years ago when my children were small (they are in their 30’s now) you were the one light I could find who helped me live my life and raise my children in a natural and healthy way. I cherished your newsletters that came in the mail and had a notebook of them for reference. I am so grateful to have had you as a guide and mentor leading the way. Now as we have become ageless goddesses you are again walking ahead to shine light on the wonderful life our goddess selves can live as we dance and dive into our wisdom.

    Thank you for being there and being willing to be our guide. Your transparency and authenticity have always been and are still not refreshing. I am game for your changes and your growth and will continue to enjoy your light, strength, love and lighthearted nature.

    Keep it up I’ll be right here marching behind you.

    Linda Lander

  30. Teresa
    4 years ago

    Dearest Dr Northrup,
    Thank, thank you and thank you.
    I am enjoying so much your book Goddesses Never Age and your online course. I am giving away your book to my friends .
    Happy Mother’s day!
    Cheers!
    Teresa

  31. Susan Coady-Butler
    4 years ago

    Chris (and Diane), It was such a treat to see you both at the book signing. Thank you for the A -ma- ta samples, lovely products, I will be ordering some. As always, I so appreciate learning from you and laughing together. You have been the best teacher of some of the most important lessons in my life. The book “Goddesses Never Age” is so spot on, has wonderful references for my continued learning, and is helping me to create more pleasure and joy in our ENTIRE family. You and your work is life changing and I feel blessed to have you in my life. Love, SusanCB

    1. Christiane
      4 years ago

      Ah Susan– what a pleasure to see YOU!!!!! And know that you are line dancing up a storm. ( with a bit of a halt for healing. But then better than EVER!!!) We have had some wonderful times together. And the best is all in FRONT of us!!! Thanks for showing up!!

  32. Rosemary maris
    4 years ago

    Beautifully said and this Internet way of creating growth and change in the world is amazing. Thank you for your amazing grace.

  33. Cheryle Taylor
    4 years ago

    Wow!! How perfect that your message shoud arrive in my mailbox at THIS time (of course!!).
    I truly believe there are NO accidents!
    I’ve been experiencing HUGE sleep disturbances over the past 2 years, as I first contemplated, then chose to ‘retire’ from work that was no longer in integrity with who I am.
    As well, I contemplated, then chose to sell my home. The sale is complete and now I’m about to choose where I next will live. So many questions……..rent or buy? move to another town or stay close to my children/grandchildren? honour my deep desire to live in a cottage by the sea….or ‘compromise’? So many questions!!
    And………my beautiful cat Asha, who has journeyed with me for almost 20 years is definitely in her last days on this planet. I can hardly bear the thought of not having her physically in my life!!
    Even with the deep SELFcare I am commited to…..meditation, journalling, beach walks, movement/yoga, music, breathing, and more, I am still ‘in the midst’ of this HUGE transformational time of my life!
    Definitely not an easy time!
    It helps for me to remind myself that all is unfolding with perfection and I need to trust………TRUST!!

    Thanks so much, Christiane, for all the support you have been in my life, especially when I was travelling through the peri-menopausal years!!
    I am hopeful that what is on your website may assist with this new time of my life.
    My affirmation lately has been: I gratefully & gracefully embrace this new season of my life with joyful curiosity!’.

    With love
    Cheryle

    1. Barbara
      4 years ago

      Cheryle,

      Wow, what you’re going through sure rings so true for me!
      Almost all of the similar life events you’re going through I just have this past year,
      Selling a home, loss of parents, kids off to college and choosing “retire early” as well having a dog that is enjoying her final years in the woods.
      Thankfully we have been embraced by the loving arms of our cottage in the woods that we have had for quite some time.
      Not thinking at the time of purchase that it would be our “Main” place of shelter. However, we have embraced the change and feel that deep within, we are meant to be here at this time. I realize that all of our answers are inside!
      Barbara
      Thanks Christine for all you have done through the years.

    2. Lynn
      4 years ago

      Cheryl – I am facing the same issues, not yet, our home, but leaving a job and especially with my 2 aged Dogs, coming up to 12. They are littermates and have been our “kids” their whole life. And, 3 old Kitties – hard for me to imagine and even harder to figure out how to do this gracefully and with reassurance for them. At the same time, my 92 yr old Mother making her transition, a horrific divorce for my sister, and my daughter recovering slowly from a terrible car accident! Finding peace is almost nil, tho I try everyday, every day!
      Blessings to you!
      Lynn

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