Thanksgiving is one holiday that is all about the food. There is often a lot of anticipation about the day and lots of planning around the meal. But, Thanksgiving is about more than just eating turkey and lots of sweet desserts. And, as with any holiday, it can bring up many unresolved issues around food and family.
How to Make Your Thanksgiving a Joyous Holiday
Family traditions can be wonderful and joyful. And it can be nice to celebrate in the tradition of our parents and grandparents and their ancestors. However, the truth is, we often live very different lives than our relatives, and it can be important to update our holidays with some new traditions to go along with the old rituals.
Here are some ways to make this Thanksgiving joyous:
Allow your family ritual to evolve. Studies show that the most successful rituals are those that also change with the times. Bringing new members into the fold (husbands, wives, in-laws, children or friends) is an opportunity to learn new traditions and expand your outlook. And remember that Thanksgiving can have a different meaning for some. For example, some Native Americans mark Thanksgiving as a day of mourning
Create a time to express gratitude. Enumerating what you feel grateful for can give you a greater sense of well-being. Saying out loud that you are grateful for your family, your health, or your personal circumstances can actually make those things even better. Sharing your gratitude with others also has an uplifting effect.
Cultivate a spirit of sharing. Preparing a huge feast can leave some people feeling overwhelmed and others feeling energized. Offering to help someone with the cooking or allowing others to help you creates a sense of togetherness and can help ease any tension that may exist between family members.
Practice forgiveness. True forgiveness is a complex process that requires long-term work. But, letting go of petty issues you may have with a sibling, spouse or parent for one day or one meal while you celebrate can go a long way toward helping you cultivate gratitude and perspective. And, when you do this, you will actually enjoy your holiday even more.
How To Avoid The Food Wars During The Holiday Season
During the holiday season with all of the family meals and treat-heavy traditions, it can be hard to steer clear of unhealthy food. But there are ways you can enjoy holiday meals while staying true to your own food values. Here’s how you can get through the holidays with both your body and spirit intact:
Plan ahead. Just because you are breaking bread with family does not mean you need to eat food that you are not comfortable eating just to please them. Decide beforehand what you’re going to eat in a way that pleases you. If you know that the food being served is not the type of food you like, then bring a dish or two of your own so that you can enjoy the meal as well. If you are the host, allow others to bring a dish of their choice so that they feel part of the tradition and have food that they enjoy.
Know what to say. In theory, saying “no thank you” should work when you are passed a dish that you prefer not to eat. But, we all have relatives and friends that insist you eat everything that is being served. If you know you will encounter this situation and you are not willing to eat certain foods, it is good to be prepared with your response. You could say, “I’m gluten intolerant” if you are passing on the stuffing. Or, “I have given up sugar” if you do not want to eat pie. You don’t need to go into long explanations.
Relax your food rules. Sometimes it’s good to relax your food rules a bit. For example, you could pick one meal such as Thanksgiving, where you allow yourself to experience food without your usual restrictions. This can help make the occasion more joyful for you and everyone else. You can simply return to your preferred way of eating during your next meal.
Eat for pleasure. The important part of any meal is the enjoyment factor. So be sure to taste your food. It may sound obvious, but savoring the flavors and textures of your food makes it a pleasurable experience, which allows the entire experience to be healthful. In addition, when you savor your food, you are less likely to overindulge and may even stave off unwanted digestive issues.
Try some new recipes. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to try something new. While there may be some naysayers at the table, you and others may enjoy trying creative, healthy, easy-to-prepare alternatives to traditional dishes. This can help take some of the pressure off the meal, create a more light-hearted atmosphere, and can even help you forge new family dynamics. For some wonderful recipes that are easy and healthy, go to JessicaRuthShepard.com where you can browse lots of recipes and download a special holiday eBook.
How To Cope with Challenging People During The Holidays
Most of you at some point will have to spend a holiday with someone who is your own personal vampire. Here’s are my tips for getting through it:
Laugh it off. Family dynamics happen. Recently, my friend Susie told me that her mother fell and was experiencing some sore muscles. Susie had a significant and painful sports-related injury that she was healing from, but went to visit her mother and cooked dinner for the family. When Susie’s father asked how Susie was feeling, Susie’s mother snapped, “hey guys, this is about me!” Susie responded in a jovial tone, “Yeah, Dad. How dare you ask about me!” Everyone laughed and the family was able to enjoy their meal. The holidays are not the best time to resolve family conflicts. But, having a sense of humor can go a long way. If it’s too difficult to laugh, try getting outside for some fresh air frequently.
Load up on self love. Remember that you can’t heal a vampire. Focus on loading up on lots of self-love before and after you are in their presence. Check out Matt Kahn’s videos on YouTube such as “Raising Your Vibration.”
Stand your personal ground. Vampires are good at making you believe that something is wrong with you. It may help to understand that their background or upbringing is what influences their attitudes and behavior. It’s not about you. Hold your truth in your heart, whether or not your personal vampire validates it. Stand as the light that you are.
Distance yourself. After the holiday, take a break from your personal vampire, even if that person is a sibling or parent. If the holiday was particularly hard for you, you can write a letter telling your vampire what you feel (you don’t have to send it.)
Plan your “ideal” holiday. You can always change the dynamic of your next family holiday with a little planning. Write out the list of people you will include, what food you (and others) will prepare, and how you envision the entire holiday looking and feeling. You can also plan what you will say to those you do not include. The important thing here is to create what works for you and leave behind what doesn’t.