Repetition: Why Me?

The Real Meaning Behind Our Patterns

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Sex & Sexuality
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Repetition: Past Lives, Life, and Rebirth

I am absolutely thrilled to introduce you to the work of Doris E. Cohen, Ph.D., whose book Repetition: Past Lives, Life, and Rebirth was just released. Doris is a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience. She combines in-depth knowledge and impeccable clinical skills with something extraordinary: clear and practical communication with Guides and Angels of the highest caliber. The result is information that can help heal your life at the deepest level—just as it has done mine. I’ve referred dozens of people to Dr. Cohen ever since I first read her book and had a reading myself. I’m so grateful that her book is now available to provide all of you with profound insight and enormous healing! – C.N.
Repetition: Why Me?
By Doris E. Cohen, Ph.D.

Did you ever ask yourself, Why me?

After my divorce and after ending my relationship with my second boyfriend, I was sitting alone crying when it hit me. Look what I have done. I have selected three different men who were emotionally unavailable, and when our relationships ended, I was left with a deep heartache, feeling abandoned and rejected. I wondered, What is wrong with me? Why does this keep happening? What am I doing? I sounded, to my own ears, like many of my patients. They, too, seemed to repeat their own patterns, making choices that resulted in their feeling victimized, angry, and depressed. Was something wrong with every one of us? Were we really that dense and foolish to make such “neurotic” choices again and again? After crying most of the night, I suddenly understood something as dawn crept in. We repeat aspects of our stories from our lives and our relevant past lives because we are trying to heal from past traumas. Repetition is not only common, but also necessary.

Having worked with thousands of patients as a clinical psychologist for the last 30 years, the stories that were revealed showed again and again that we repeat the same themes over and over. When I have communicated with my Guides and Angels in the context of psychic readings, the information they have provided about past lives has been completely consistent. This was certainly true for me.

Growing up I lived the life of a modern-day wandering Jew, moving from country to country in the Mediterranean as my father tried to put down roots. Each time we left, I experienced loss and separation from friends and language over and over. Not only was I repeating this pattern in my present by choosing men who would press my buttons and who could never offer me the permanence and sense of belonging I needed, I was unconsciously repeating the themes I had experienced in a previous lifetime—and, in my case, in the same part of the world.

Although repeating the same patterns and choices might seem “self-destructive” and “self sabotaging,” my Guides and Angels have taught me that these Repetitions are neither neurotic nor pathological, but rather they are unconscious choices expressed by each soul with a profound healing intent. The healing comes about when we change our reaction in the present to the same story or theme. This starts by understanding the gift of Free Choice.

Soul’s Journey

God created us as individual sparks of light, each a unique and amazing soul. God gave us the gift of Free Choice with the intention of becoming co-creators with the Divine. Every act, every thought, every reaction, every experience, every joy, and every sadness is unequivocally an expression of our Free Choice.

We exercise our Free Choice both consciously and unconsciously. Often, we are not aware of our behaviors or our unconscious decisions, so we end up blaming others, the world, our enemies, our parents, and so forth for every ill that we experience. (Recent studies prove that 95 percent of our behaviors are determined by the unconscious.) We may also act in ways that result in feeling victimized, angry, and depressed.

To help people change their behavior, exit their patterns, and transform their lives, I devised a Seven-Step healing process, inspired by my Guides and Angles, which I describe in detail in my book Repetition. Its simplicity belies its effectiveness! Simple yet profoundly effective and swift, this technique affords the individual the experience of entering the unconscious, healing his or her child-part, and coming back to the present as the empowered adult. When you heal this child-part, the past self that experiences the trauma, you actually change the hormones in your body and create new patterns in your brain.

Rewrite Your History

I shared my Seven-Step process one day with Pam, who was crying in my office, her eyes black and blue after being beaten by her husband. She spoke of being sexually abused when she was three years of age, gang raped when she was twelve, and repeatedly battered by her current husband. I understood that she was neither self-sabotaging, crazy, nor pathological, but rather she was unconsciously repeating aspects of her current life to heal from her earlier traumas.

When Pam accessed a few of her past lives (which we discovered during regression therapy), the Repetition was startlingly evident. At the age of three, she became lost and separated from her mother in a marketplace and abducted. In another lifetime, war broke out and marauding armies attacked her village. She was left alone and bereft at the age of twelve. The abused child was helpless and powerless, just as she was in this lifetime when she was sexually wounded and emotionally abused by her father, husband, and others.

Now Pam as an adult woman could change her reaction by expressing her assertiveness, and make conscious decisions to change or leave the abusive situation. Her challenge in the present was to use the Seven-Step technique to heal those wounded parts of self in order to come to the present as the empowered, professional accountant she was. After three months of using my techniques, she moved out, got her own apartment, and signed up for dancing lessons!

Thankfully, all past-life stories aren’t so dramatic and painful. Sometimes the patterns we repeat or the patterns of our past bring us a gentler message. My client Jack went to Las Vegas seven times, not to gamble or even see a show, but to stay at the Venetian Hotel. Puzzled and surprised I asked him why. He answered, “Every time I look out of my room at the garden outside and later take a ride in the gondola, I feel at home and at peace.”

In a past life, Jack had been a successful merchant with a loving wife and five children in the bustling city of Venice in the Middle Ages. Single and divorced in the current life, he kept coming back to recapture, unconsciously, the cellular memory and experience of warmth, family, and lively surroundings. Once he understood this we were able to help him find ways to create love and community in the present.

Once in a great while a soul will even reincarnate in a body of an animal to facilitate and speed up learning and moving beyond the trauma of the past. Richard had lifetime after lifetime in which he betrayed his spouse, family, country, and tribe. No matter which position he took on the pendulum—the loyal one who was betrayed or the betrayer of one who is loyal—he just wasn’t learning the lesson of loyalty and healing himself. His soul was stuck on experiencing payback, so he was unable to exit his pattern. (Like many, Richard reincarnated with family members and groups to facilitate his healing.) After all that, Richard’s soul chose to create an opportunity for healing by incarnating in a past life as a dog, so that he could experience loyalty and faithfulness in a pure form, in the hopes that he could forgive those who had betrayed him and stop betraying others.

Moving On

Before I came to this understanding about the profound implications of Repetition, I often wondered why some people had all “the bad luck.” Now I know that each and every one of us is completely responsible through the expression of Free Choice for his or her life in every way. I wrote Repetition: Past Lives, Life and Rebirth to teachthe masses that it is possible to go beyond the trap of feeling victimized and helpless and move toward owning your life, owning your story, and choosing to change it as you see fit—in an empowered way. The necessity and inevitability of Repetition takes place so you can heal, face your issues, exercise Free Choice, and finally transform your life.

Doris E. Cohen, Ph.D., has been a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist in private practice for more than 30 years, treating thousands of clients. Her approach uses therapy, hypnotherapy, past-life regressions, and dream analysis. A certified healer, metaphysical intuitive, and communicator with Guides and Angels of the Light, Doris has given more than 10,000 medical, relationship, and spiritual readings. She has also conducted numerous workshops and has lectured nationally and internationally. She lives in Beachwood, Ohio. To learn more about Dr. Cohen and her work, visit her website.

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Last Updated: October 16, 2008

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.

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