Several years ago, Sally was wound up tighter than a drum. Her brother Ralph was about to marry a woman who was not right for him. Sally knew it. Sally’s mother knew it. In fact the whole family knew it—even Ralph. Of course he didn’t know it consciously with his intellect. But his body did. And it kept screaming louder and louder at him so that he would listen.
As Ralph’s wedding day grew near, Ralph’s primitive brain—the one in his gut—kept trying to tell him the truth via abdominal pain and colitis. But, like so many of us, Ralph didn’t listen and just kept popping pain relievers and antacids. He figured that his problem was just “pre-wedding jitters.” But it didn’t go away after the wedding. It escalated.
Fast forward several years. Ralph’s wife succeeded in getting Ralph to buy and renovate an entire house to her standards, using Ralph’s amazing carpentry skills. And then she had an affair with another man and asked for a divorce. In the end she got the house into which most of Ralph’s life savings—as well as his considerable carpentry skills—had gone. This left Ralph feeling pretty bruised and taken advantage of.
When Sally and I discussed this, she asked, “Is there anything I could have done to prevent this and save Ralph the trouble?”
Have you ever been in Sally’s position? Knowing that a friend or family member was about to make a huge mistake, but also knowing that there wasn’t a thing you could do about it? Or have you ever had that still small voice inside telling you that you were on the wrong track, but you ignored it? It’s kind of like watching a train wreck about to happen, where the engineer is wearing a blindfold and ear plugs.
Has it ever occurred to you that there is nothing to do but “Let go and let God?” But how exactly do you do that? When you care so deeply about another, or even when you care so deeply about yourself? The magic answer? Tosha Silver’s newest book Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender.
So what is a Change Me Prayer? It is a prayer in which your little self talks to your Higher Self (which has the 10,000 foot view) and simply asks that wiser part to take the wheel. So, in the case of Sally, an appropriate Change Me Prayer could be:
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who can relax and let go, and allow Ralph to live his own life.”
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who trusts that this situation is all working out for the best, no matter how it looks at the moment.”
I learned about Change Me Prayers from Tosha Silver in her first book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead. As a writer who has been wildly in love with the Divine in all its forms for decades and as a practical woman who has endeavored to be spiritually attuned, Tosha came up with Change Me Prayers as the answer to the dilemmas we all face.
For example, we all know that we are supposed to “surrender and trust.” But, how in the world do you do that? You literally ask to be changed into one who is capable of doing just that.
None of us actually knows how to do something as heroic of “Letting go and letting God.” Hence we need help. And Change Me Prayers are a missing link that can provide peace where there is fear, calm where there is anger, and hope where there is despair. I know. I have used them for years. And thankfully, Tosha has written an entire book on exactly how, why, and when to use a Change Me Prayer.
Tosha has also included a whole bunch of good Change Me Prayer examples for just about every situation, so you don’t have to make up your own—unless you want to. So, why not use the incredible power of Change Me Prayers yourself?
And then, no matter what you or your family members are doing, you can find peace and comfort—beyond the understanding of your “little self” or intellect, who is usually the last one to figure it out.
Hi Dr Northrup,
I bought your book Wisdom of Menopause several years ago before I was baptized as a Christian. I was raised in a Catholic family but struck out on my own after leaving home at 19. I searched all I could find for some validity in being lesbian and only coming back to the Bible, did I find the truth. Breaking up with my partner after 25 years and then seeing the strong faith of my last partner , I chose to be baptized and left my lesbian lifestyle behind.
Now 57 and celebate, I started reading your menopause book again.
My question, Do you believe in Jesus as God?
This really spoke to me. I often moan that “nobody listens to me.” I see others make choices that I can see will bring a great deal of pain and sorrow — it is exactly like looking at an impending train wreck — and these are not just small problems. I have seen two business acquaintances fleeced by con artists who suffered legal and financial troubles, yet when they were advised that these people were dangerous, insisted they weren’t. I have seen relatives go through the same patterns that bring them to dead ends, yet they will not take advice. I really have a hard time watching my husband go through business deals, and of course, I do it myself — I don’t take the advice of others about my health.
And yet, isn’t it funny that Dr. Northrup and many of us use our intuition and insights and life experience to help complete strangers. Perhaps it really is just that our advice comes with baggage for people who we care about, whereas strangers don’t have any emotional connection to us and can take advice in a purely objective way.
I will definitely read this book, because I need to find peace from worrying about other people’s “not taking my advice.” Thank you.
After reading Dr. Northrup’s newest book where she talks about “Change Me Prayers”, I now make up my own prayers at the end of each journal entry. These prayers reflect the subject of my entry and urge me to direct my energies in thinking about what I really want or need to change in my life.
I have been following Dr. Northrup for years and she has been and continues to be such an inspiration to me. Her teachings have been such a comfort to me at this critical time in my life where everything is changing.
Thank you, Doctor!
How can I pray for the haunted house I have but I do not live there anymore but I want to sell but before selling it is a must to rapair the whole house?
Another request is that my husband is extremely tied to her mother and he does not take care of me because his mother is always first, we do not live together. He is living in our haunted house (near his mom’s house) and I am living with my children in my parent’s house (They both died), I do not know how to pray, he is almost 60 and her mom is 80, I am 50. I would like to improve our relationship but sometimes I’d rather like to be free and have a second chance. I am eager to listen your opinion. Thanks
What this teaching is telling you to do (in all cases) is to let go and kiss it up to God (in a pleasant way). I had tried to save my marriage and looking back now, after losing half of my net worth and being a single mom, I realize that the only thing I regret is having not left him sooner. He was abusive and mentally ill. I put everything on the line for a fantasy I created but the reality kicked my ass.
God bless mama. You’re 50? Be like Caitlyn Jenner and fluff your wings because it’s time to FLY!
Consult with an attorney concerning the house and a divorce (if that’s what you choose). We can’t change others but we can change our lives with the power we do have in our own.
Here’s to all of us women, taking charge of our lives, our hearts, our bodies, and learning how to fly.
I have only read about. Dr Northrup by a ladies posting on the Belfast Forum. All saying how good she is. I’ve just read about Dr Northrup and certainly need to change my life. I will try
Again and again, when I use the prayers, I’m reminded–often within minutes, peace. Sooo incredibly powerful. It’s hard to believe, yet easy to believe! Both and…much, much more. Fabulous post, Dr. Northrup.
So glad you feel
This way!! Me too!!!
Hi Christiane, I am a cancer survivor(breast cancer)! Positive motivational books have given me the positive power to overcome
many hurdles with a smile. Learning to change my whole mind-set has been a spiritual awakening for me and empowered me to conquer any challenge that comes my way. I am desperate to get a hold of your book Goddesses don’t Age from the time I heard about it, I even ordered it at our exclusive books store, however I am told that this work of yours is not available in South Africa. please send your book to south Africa so that we may purchase it. I love your work and would love to be able to have a copy. I am going in for surgery on the 27 may 2015 to have a complete hysterectomy and with 6 weeks bed rest nothing would be more healing than having your book to inspire and empower me.
thank you and god bless
I don’t know if I do them exactly as your friend does but mine work for me. Sometimes I’m slow in saying them but help is there when I finally stop and reach out. I’m glad you talk about these things. It is so helpful.
I’ve read many many books..this one is special and is changing my life. A million Thank You are in order
So true!!! Thank you!!
Thank you Christiane for all that you are. The courage, resilience, and awesomeness that is you that you have allowed out in this world I am so grateful for. I have been taking the ageless goddess course with you. It has been life changing. The other day in my kitchen while doing dishes I found myself singing harmony with my husband to a song on the stereo. I didn’t even realize I was singing! We were playing with our voices and it felt so good! I am waking up to my still inner self and re discovering the magic of play. Thank you
This just warms my heart!’ Thank you!!
I pre ordered the book as soon as that was an option, but that was a whe back and I had forgotten. This reminder was perfectly timed – as your writings usually are.
Dear Dr. Northrup:
I have followed your spiritual journey in PBS specials, television interviews and DVD appearances for the past few years. I feel Truth resonating with you as you lecture to your audience. What I have found personally is that I am an overcomer—I did not SURVIVE breast cancer after having recently buried my Mother who succumbed to adenal carcinoma, I CAME OVER and THROUGH with a strength that can only come from the Divine. This I could not do by myself, there was a Sacred Intervention on my behalf, one for which I am deeply grateful.
As I write my book about Spirit, well being and owning yourSelf, you continue to inspire me. Baby Boomer Women Rock!!!!
Oh I love
Hearing this! Beautifully stated. I am touched!!
Thank you for the message. I needed to be reminded to “butt-out” of my family’s affairs and stay focused on my life and my business.
I say this because I recently got my hands slapped when I tried to fix a dilemma in my family that has been going on for four years. I see now that they would rather hold on to the grudge and stay mad. I am glad I am not!! I am grateful for the lessons and message, I have to trust that the outcome is not up to me to fix, it’s up to God.
Dear Dr. Northrup
Having kept up with your books/tv specials/newsletter for the past 18 years, I have to Thank You for all the sound advice. Luckily, I was 32 when I read Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom which made such an impact that my mother, sister and best friend also were gifted copies.
My life is grounded in my growing wisdom as I start menopause. And, although I am excited for this next chapter I do require some emotional balance sometimes and Pueraria Mirifica provides that. As someone who takes a more holistic approach to my body/mind/spirit, I am happy that this supplement is working for me and Thank You Dr. Northrup for putting in the diligence and determination to developing a better solution for menopausal women.
I can certainly say that my life has been enriched by you being in it.
This is SO good to hear. I want all women who need
Know about the a-ma-ta products. Men too!!’
This is a very powerful concept an just being able to say ” Please change me into a person who can” becomes very empowering. Thank you for this amazing life tool.
I find your teachings very refreshing and so fit my lifestyle. Letting go and letting God has been very freeing.
I’m sincerely hoping Buffalo is one of your stops!
God bless you, Christine
Whew………….. I think I am protecting family by trying to help them make “better choices.” It is so painful to watch them make poor choices ………I always think what good does it do to watch them make a similar choice that I may have done also and not share about the experience? It seems really indifferent not to……..but I will read this book and see if it changes my views.
Thank you Christiane for all your beautiful support for women!!
I so hear
You on this! I have
Reached a completely new level of this letting go myself. Realizing that just because I’m right doesn’t mean I’m supposed
To save people from their lives and choices!!
where can I buy the book Letting The Divine Lead Me?
Elements of this story resonates. My daughter figured out after 10 yrs that she made the wrong choice we all knew this Controling guy was not a fit for a high flyer. Fast forward 25 yrs and her very talented EX is now doing independent contract building for her in her new decorating biz. They are friends who happen to work well on Projects, just not personal relationships.
Thank you for a post that is in-tuned to what myself and so many people face on a daily basis. I always love your essays and posts! big love to you
I have been following you for years on and off. After becoming ill with multiple chronic illnesses, nursing my abusive husband with combat PTSD until he passed away and raising our daughter single handedly, she is now 20, I am on my own and scared but also excited about moving on with MY life. Your encouraging words help immensely. Thank you and God bless!
I have been following you for years on and off. After becoming ill with multiple chronic illnesses, nursing my abusive husband with combat PTSD and raising our daughter single handedly I am on my own and scared but also excited about moving on with MY life. Your encouraging words help immensely. Thank you and God bless!
Dr. Northrup – Loved you on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah and also I got to meet you personally when you came to give a talk for Charlene Vairy in Davie, Florida. My question is unusual, but I thought you might be able to help me. I noticed you had a “Super Soul Sunday” mug on the show with Oprah. I have tried EVERYWHERE to get a mug for a very special friend of mine for her birthday. This friend literally nursed me back from the brink of death. How can I possibly thank her? — she mentioned that she would love to have a cup of tea in this mug every Sunday morning while she watches the show. I have looked all over the internet to no avail. Can you help me get one? Cost is no object!! Help!!
I have no idea!! I didn’t
One myself!! How about you just have one made!! Just for your friend. Great idea!!❤️
Try Oprah’s store, Anne-Marie:
Thank you for this on time wisdom of “letting go, letting God”. So overwhelmed with being in “so call” control takes all my peace and makes me “tired”. Letting go, letting God is my faith and trust that all is well. Because blessings and lessons are different sides of the same coin/experience. As long as I am still breathing – my peace of mind is God’s promise to me that I am bless – because I am still breathing to experience increase blessings and miracles. Thanks again.
Love you Dr Northrup! Bless you. … can’t thank you enough for all that you do for us by sharing all this…. Thanks to you I came across Tosha Silver’s Outrageous Openness – which I loved… and now Change Me Prayers…
btw, looked your Goddesses Never Age! Have recommended it to whole lot of my friends -who have kindle / ipads. .. cause hardcover / paperback will take a long time to come to India.
Much love and regards,
Thanks you so much for this! Love
Thank you for change me prayers it has serve as a timely tool enabling me to deal with my current situation!
I really found this to be so true.
Hello Christine, I live in Dublin, Ireland and have been an avid fan of Oprah n Dr Phil McGraw for many many years! Every single time I watched their shows my mind would expand with a whole new awareness of LIFE and how to live it in the best possible way for my family’s benefit ! Then in recent years it dawned on me that I can only live MY LIFE and take MY OWN daily footsteps and release my fears to GOD and that I would survive hardships, illness n worry about my children and there future! LIFE happens and you can make daily choices and hope and pray that they are the right ones for you at this particuler time on your life’s journey!! I have also found to the true benefit of my health n outcomes that one should really LISTEN to your initial gut instinct in situations and decisions and go with the flow of LIFE! Thank you for your time! Would I be able to see/listen to ur upcoming show??
I am 66 yr old woman on bioidentical hormones but am suffering with anxiety and insomnia. I meditate daily, my mind won’t quit and let me relax, very stressful..I just purchased the book Change Me Prayer..can you offer any other suggestions..I am sensitive to supplements..thank you.
Maybe try adding omega 3 fats to your diet. And try the Pueraria mirifica herb
Beautifully written article and perfect timing – just what I needed! Thank you!
That is exactly what I have always wondered…how others move on and through things and simpy relax and believe. Perhaps I will give this book a try and learn some Change Me prayers to help me. Thank you kindly!
This article was so timely for me. I have a similar situation where my son has married someone that is so wrong for him and wrecking havoc in their lives. It is heart breaking to watch. I know the power of affirmative prayers and have prayed for both of them but never thought of praying to change me! This so helpful for my situation.
I am so glad this helped. It is SO hard to watch our family and friends make choices
My beloved sister just passed away after a 12 year illness which claimed her beauty, her dignity and her independence. We were separated by 500 miles and visits were as often as I could get away from work and home responsibilities. I question if I could have done something ore or different. So now my prayer is that I can believe that I did my best and that our connection never, ever dies.
I have been practicing “Let Go And Let God” quite a bit in the last two weeks. The result has been transformational for me. My stress level has gone way down. As a matter of fact all the way down. I could be very stressed about recent life changing events in my life but I actually caught myself smiling! So many things are now going my way and I now have the patience to allow the rest to work out.
Last line made me laugh: “And then, no matter what you or your family members are doing, you can find peace and comfort—beyond the understanding of your “little self” or intellect, who is usually the last one to figure it out.” So true, yet so clear when I stop and reflect — my “head” really was the last to know!! Gut/intuition was spot-on 😉 Love to you, Val
I’m currently finishing Outrageous Openness after seeing it referenced in something Christiane wrote. I LOVE Outrageous Openness. I’m reading a story or two each night before bed and finished last night with a story that speaks to this very subject. My need and hurt over the inability to help my son who isn’t helping himself but is hurting deeply. There was a story that spoke directly to it and a prayer to release and let go. I will pick up this new book of hers SOON!
Thanks Christiane <3
This book sounds wonderful.Thank you.x
I love Change Me Prayers! Change Me Prayers help me to focus on myself, trust in a power greater than myself and to love, which gives me fullfillment and happiness.
I haven’t read the book so I don’t know the other prayers but I feel a little weird about prayers above. It seems like Sally did let go and let Ralph live his own life and now feels guilty for not trying to hint to him that maybe he should think things over before marrying the wrong girl. I was wondering if the prayer would be to ask God Grace to help her to know if she should say anything and if so, how to say it and when. If not to give her peace about not saying anything . It just seems that God works through people and we sometimes could be the voice with the message needed to prevent tragedy. I’m not knocking the prayer and I get it that we need to leave things up to God but that just doesn’t feel right to me.
Your approach. Just asking God
To be shown the right thing to
Do!!! The Change Me Prayers are
Another form of that!
I really wish I had done this myself a few years back. It is a long story, but I made a purchase that was based on a promise I had made in the 80s, and felt that I was doing the right thing, but still I was scared. I have spent 144,000. which is more than my life savings in an attempt to get this operational, and every contractor I have hired has taken my money and not fulfilled what I paid them to do. At any rate, I am broke and trying to move on with my life, but am stuck in a serious bind, by having something that is on two semi trailers, and doesn’t work after all the money I have poured into it. I wish I had had that moment, of listening from within, but I felt it was my obligation to keep a promise. I have been so used and just don’t think I can trust anyone any more
Thank you so much for each and every way you communicate with us. Today’s radio show with Tosha herself was a precious gift. Thanks for reminding us of our divine nature. Healing on all levels. Lots of love fly back to you
You are an inspiration. Thanks so much for all you do with your wisdom, knowledge and teaching skills. My wife and I truly enjoyed your last PBS show. I am a lifetime spiritual seeker as well as a self help enthusiast. I have tried to get my wife Eileen to listen to the Wayne Dyers of the world ans so on.., We recently were at a friends party the other day and she shared your name and how she was so excited to watch and learn from someone so with it and who walks the talk. Finally, I found someone [you] who is inspiring & motivating for both me and my bride. God’s peace. Thanks again,
Oh Ed, this warms my heart!!
Outrageous Openness is a book I give as a gift and recommend to anyone looking for answers. You introduced me to Tosha Silver, for which I will forever be grateful. I have ordered “Change Me Prayers” and anxiously await its arrival as I am at a tremendous crossroads in my career as an author and in my marriage. Letting Go and letting God is a true challenge to me right now. BUT I know it is the only thing for me to do, given the situation. There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel for me. You have such a positive impact on people, Dr. Northrup. Thank you!