Several years ago, Sally was wound up tighter than a drum. Her brother Ralph was about to marry a woman who was not right for him. Sally knew it. Sally’s mother knew it. In fact the whole family knew it—even Ralph. Of course he didn’t know it consciously with his intellect. But his body did. And it kept screaming louder and louder at him so that he would listen.
As Ralph’s wedding day grew near, Ralph’s primitive brain—the one in his gut—kept trying to tell him the truth via abdominal pain and colitis. But, like so many of us, Ralph didn’t listen and just kept popping pain relievers and antacids. He figured that his problem was just “pre-wedding jitters.” But it didn’t go away after the wedding. It escalated.
Fast forward several years. Ralph’s wife succeeded in getting Ralph to buy and renovate an entire house to her standards, using Ralph’s amazing carpentry skills. And then she had an affair with another man and asked for a divorce. In the end she got the house into which most of Ralph’s life savings—as well as his considerable carpentry skills—had gone. This left Ralph feeling pretty bruised and taken advantage of.
When Sally and I discussed this, she asked, “Is there anything I could have done to prevent this and save Ralph the trouble?”
Have you ever been in Sally’s position? Knowing that a friend or family member was about to make a huge mistake, but also knowing that there wasn’t a thing you could do about it? Or have you ever had that still small voice inside telling you that you were on the wrong track, but you ignored it? It’s kind of like watching a train wreck about to happen, where the engineer is wearing a blindfold and ear plugs.
Has it ever occurred to you that there is nothing to do but “Let go and let God?” But how exactly do you do that? When you care so deeply about another, or even when you care so deeply about yourself? The magic answer? Tosha Silver’s newest book Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender.
So what is a Change Me Prayer? It is a prayer in which your little self talks to your Higher Self (which has the 10,000 foot view) and simply asks that wiser part to take the wheel. So, in the case of Sally, an appropriate Change Me Prayer could be:
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who can relax and let go, and allow Ralph to live his own life.”
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who trusts that this situation is all working out for the best, no matter how it looks at the moment.”
I learned about Change Me Prayers from Tosha Silver in her first book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead. As a writer who has been wildly in love with the Divine in all its forms for decades and as a practical woman who has endeavored to be spiritually attuned, Tosha came up with Change Me Prayers as the answer to the dilemmas we all face.
For example, we all know that we are supposed to “surrender and trust.” But, how in the world do you do that? You literally ask to be changed into one who is capable of doing just that.
None of us actually knows how to do something as heroic of “Letting go and letting God.” Hence we need help. And Change Me Prayers are a missing link that can provide peace where there is fear, calm where there is anger, and hope where there is despair. I know. I have used them for years. And thankfully, Tosha has written an entire book on exactly how, why, and when to use a Change Me Prayer.
Tosha has also included a whole bunch of good Change Me Prayer examples for just about every situation, so you don’t have to make up your own—unless you want to. So, why not use the incredible power of Change Me Prayers yourself?
And then, no matter what you or your family members are doing, you can find peace and comfort—beyond the understanding of your “little self” or intellect, who is usually the last one to figure it out.