Are You Guilty of Overgiving?

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Reviewed March 2017

I’ve been thinking a lot about how those who don’t feel worthy in life tend to over-give as a way to compensate for that. And those people are often women, not always.
The reason that I was thinking about this so much is that a year ago, I developed rectal bleeding, and it went on for about 10 days, and as I always do, I consulted a medical intuitive. In this case, Dr. Doris Cohen, who has a book with Hay House called Repetition. She’s absolutely wonderful. And what we came up with was that I had had a past life with eight children, and I didn’t have any money, and I had to go out and get food. So I had all these little children around me wanting to be fed, and they were like little birds, and I was a very good mother, but very poor, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I left the two oldest in charge, and I went out to get food, and when I came back, all my children had disappeared, And I don’t know whether they were taken into servitude, whether they had been killed, I don’t know, and they all, I ended that lifetime destitute and depressed.
And in this lifetime, I could name you all of those children, who had been in my life in one form or another, and I was surrounded by a series of people at that time, including my own two children, all of whom seemed entitled to my time and energy, and all of whom I couldn’t seem to give enough to, until my own body had to get my attention with bleeding, like what do you want, my blood? And as soon as I identified the pattern, the bleeding went away.
A year later, the pattern recurred in a different form, but this time, the bleeding only lasted three days, and this time I got a colonoscopy, which was completely normal. I knew it would be, but I also knew I was going to tell you about this, and that you would be horrified if I didn’t get the colonoscopy, so I got it. Just got the report back today.
But I could see that like peeling an onion, oftentimes, we women have this pattern of giving away our life’s blood. I was talking with a reporter today, who recently went to a funeral, where they showed slides of this woman who had died at the age of 53. From the time she was a child and vibrant and a young woman and vivacious and full of life, and then in all the family photos, she appeared to be more and more in the background, more and more in the background. And on the little card at the funeral home, it said, she was a wonderful wife and mother. She always put everyone else before herself. Can you relate to that? She was a wonderful wife and mother. She always put everyone else’s needs before her own.
I want you to know something. To be a wonderful wife and mother, to be a healthy woman, you must put your own needs on the front burner. Otherwise, you’re likely to be dead, and you won’t be any good to anyone. Wouldn’t it have been so much better if this woman hadn’t died at the age of 53, but had been available to her 20-something daughters, because she’d spent some time paying attention to her own needs?
Please examine your reason for over-giving, and I’ll bet you it has to do with guilt at not feeling worthy. In my particular case, whether or not you believe in past lives, it was feeling as though I had done something wrong. So I did a 21-day exercise, where I lit a candle and forgave myself for everything I knew and everything I didn’t know. And the pattern of over-giving is gradually leaving my life. But I’d like you to eradicate it before you get a physical symptom.

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.

Recommended For You