A while ago a friend sent me a story from the New York Times wedding section about a woman named Meg, an attractive and successful woman in her 50’s who had met and married the man of her dreams. During her search, Meg worked with love mentor Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of Love in 90 Days and a PBS special of the same name. And because I knew Meg and her story, I contacted Diana to find out her secrets. Thus began my adventure in online dating.
This is the era of abundant love. More people are meeting and “mating” than ever before in history. And all because of the Internet. So if you’re looking for love online, here are some tips to improve your likelihood of meeting that special someone.
- Think sales and marketing. Or bees to honey. If you are a flower, what makes bees come to you? When you go by a store window or look at a book cover, what draws you in? Well—it’s the same with your online profile. Make sure it’s designed to attract what you desire in a person. I went on eHarmony. The very fact that it takes several hours to fill out the profile means that you are far less likely to attract people who are just looking for a hook up.
- Forget your age and your weight. Most men really don’t care nearly as much about your age or your weight as you’ve been led to believe. What they’re looking for is a fun woman with a great smile.
- Wear red. Diana has done all the research. Men (if that’s the gender you’re interested in) are attracted to red. And to headshots with big smiles. So smile into the camera. And show some décolleté. I asked a friend go out on a sunny autumn day and take fun pictures of me for my profile. I had my hair blown out first and applied make-up. In one of the pictures I am standing near my boat.
- Do not include pictures with your children or grandchildren. You want to showcase YOU, not your family.
- Approach this as you would a college course. And with a sense of humor and fun! It’s a new beginning. Every time you dress up to meet a new person—and go out the door—your energy lifts and you become far more attractive. You’re in the game. I learned a huge amount about myself and about men through my experience with online dating. I could feel the hearts of the men I met. Many of them really liked me. It was a huge boost for my self-esteem as a woman. I also learned that I could tell within 30 seconds who I wanted to spend time with and who I didn’t.
- You’re human. Every one—men and women both—feels vulnerable about putting their heart on their sleeve. Doesn’t matter who you are or how much education you have. It takes courage to admit that love and companionship are extremely important things to you. Dare greatly. You have nothing to lose.
And by the way, one of my closest friends—who followed my advice—met her current husband within the first month of online dating. He contacted only one person when he put up his profile—her. This month they’re taking a six-month trip around the world. Very cool. And who says, you won’t be next?
Have you ever done online dating? Please share any other tips that have worked for you.