I have always been interested in the link between beliefs and health. But after my divorce, I learned —up close and personal—the link between finances and beliefs! In short, I realized that my attitude towards money was creating my financial reality. You see, at that time, I held the limiting belief that my husband knew way more about finances than I did.
And, like so many women, I thought my marriage would last a lifetime. Boy, was I wrong! As it turned out, during the time when I was having my first hot flashes—first from a medication I took to shrink a fibroid tumor in my uterus—and later from the real thing—I was facing divorce! I was also facing putting both of my children through college.
I remember my mother calling me. Her advice? “Protect yourself.” I had to watch every cent. I was afraid I would lose my house. At one point I needed a new faucet in the bathroom. And I hired a plumber to come remove the old one and put in a new one. But when I saw the price on the new one — $350 — I had him go back to the recycling center and get the old one and re-install it! To say that I was frightened was an understatement.
Of course, my mid-life divorce turned out to be the financial wake-up call I needed. In fact, it is what prompted me to write The Wisdom of Menopause. But, at the time, it was like getting thrown into the deep end of the pool, and I had to learn how to swim fast.
In order to change my situation, I started doing heaps of affirmations. And, as part of my “financial literacy fast track”, every night while walking on the treadmill, I read chapters of Think and Grow Rich, the classic text on prosperity thinking from Napolean Hill written in 1925. I also read everything else I could get my hands on by Suze Orman and Robert Kiyosaki.
Tapping and Your Beliefs
One thing I didn’t know about then but am a huge fan of now is Tapping. I would rather use a technique that helps me to heal on all levels before agreeing to prescription drugs or medical or surgical treatments. That’s why I like Tapping and encourage you to try it for just about everything
Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a scientifically proven and very practical way to decrease stress hormones in your body. Studies show that people who use Tapping recover very quickly from whatever ails them, often in just a few sessions.
Whether you use it to reduce physical symptoms or for changing limiting beliefs, Tapping has the effect of releasing the emotional memories associated with your symptoms or beliefs. This happens when you acknowledge your symptom or a traumatic event while accepting yourself completely and tapping your fingertips on a series of acupuncture points on your face and body. Tapping these points sends a calming signal to your brain reducing the stress response. When stress hormone levels are decreased, you have much more access to the part of yourself known as the “Wise Mind,” the part that can guide you to the right answers and allow you to heal.
How Tapping Works
There are 12 major energy meridians in your body that have been used in traditional acupuncture for more than 5,000 years. When the healthy flow of energy becomes blocked in your meridians, it also becomes blocked in your physical body. Tapping uses these acupressure points, but instead of using needles, you use your fingertips to tap the energy points on your body.
When you tap on the energy points linked to a specific organ or system, you input energy directly into that meridian. Tapping, while using a positive statement — such as, “I have everything I need within me to create the financial abundance I desire” — works to clear your meridians and any emotional blocks from your body’s bioenergy system, bringing it back into balance.
Here’s How To Perform EFT On Yourself:
While no technique or procedure works for everyone every time, studies show that people who use Tapping for a specific problem experience significant improvement. Here’s how you can get started:
- Remove Eyeglasses and Jewelry. When possible, remove eyeglasses and jewelry that you cannot easily tap around. Also, jewelry, especially some gemstones, can interfere electromagnetically with your efforts.
- Assess Your Level of Physical or Emotional Discomfort. You can use a scale from 1-10. Be sure to assess your CURRENT level on the scale and not a past level. Don’t’ worry too much about your number. Use this as a way to compare how you feel before and after you tap.
- State Your Affirmation. Always begin your Tapping session by stating a positive affirmation to clear any subconscious negative thoughts. Use the following phrase: “Despite my Headache, (Fill in the blank with your condition or situation) I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” You could also use the phrase “I am OK.” You say, “Even though I didn’t get the promotion at work (Fill in the blank), I am OK.” This approach works well with children too. Be as specific as you can. Try naming the root cause of an emotion or the events that occurred.
- Use Your Fingertips. Your fingertips have a number of energy meridians. Typically, you use your index and middle finger. You can use one or both hands. Tap firmly between 5-9 times on each point, but don’t hurt yourself. While Tapping, repeat a reminder word or phrase. This may be your emotion or condition, such as “anger” for not getting that promotion or “headache.” Tap the basic sequence (below) for 2 rounds.
- Use This Basic Sequence. Tap the end point of each of the 12 main meridians. These are:
- EB = Eye Brow
- SE = Side of the Eye (also known as OE for Outer Eye)
- UE = Under the Eye
- UN = Under the Nose
- CH = Chin
- CB = Beginning of the Collar Bone
- UA = Under the Arm
- TH – Top of the Head
Sometimes it’s good to start tapping at the top of the head, then go through the rest of this sequence. Also, it often helps to say a set-up statement while tapping the outside of your hand (along the pinky edge) with four fingers from your opposite hand. It can be something like “Even though I am feeling a lot of fear, I love and accept myself.” You do your set-up statement three times then start the tapping sequence.
If you work with an EFT practitioner, you may be given a custom code. Sometimes these codes are for general clearing based on your personal situation or they may be for a specific symptom, condition or emotion.
Tapping Meditation for Success
If you have ever had trouble with your finances, chances are you have deep-seated, negative beliefs about success, including money. Tapping is a great way to release unconscious fears around success and money. Here is a short Tapping exercise that you can use to help change your unconscious patterns around money and success:
Step 1. Take 3 deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly and feel your body relax.
Step 2. Begin tapping your Karate Chop point while saying, “I’m so afraid to…” then fill in the blank with your fear or belief. For example, you may state your fear/belief that you can’t say “no.” Or perhaps you believe that you are unable to start your own business and are afraid to try. Once you add your own fear and belief, then say, “Even though this belief (fill in the blank) creates anxiety in my body, I love and accept myself.”
Step 3. Start tapping and voicing your feelings as follows:
- EB – “I can’t (fill in the blank).”
SE – “I’m so scared to (fill in the blank).”
UE – “I just want to do what’s right.”
UN – “I can’t (fill in the blank).”
CH – “The thought of (fill in the blank).”
CB – “Creates anxiety in my body.”
UA – “I have all of this fear of (fill in the blank).”
Top of head (TH) – “I just want to (fill in the blank).”
Step 4. Continue tapping on same points saying the following:
- EB – “Whether I (fill in the blank) or don’t, I’m still a good person.”
SE – “I am beginning to (fill in the blank).”
UE – “And maybe I can (fill in the blank).”
UN – “When I (fill in the blank).”
CH – “I honor my desire to (fill in the blank).”
CB – “I (fill in the blank) from a place of peace.”
UA – “It’s safe to let go of the anxiety I feel.”
TH – “It’s safe to (fill in the blank) for me.”
Step 5. Take a deep breath and exhale with your hands over your heart.
Step 6. With your hands over your heart, say the following: “What I think and feel matters. I matter. I choose to honor myself and my heart’s desires.”
How To Know If Tapping Is Working For You
- Reassess Your Level of Discomfort. After Tapping for two rounds, check in with the number you gave yourself at the beginning for the level of discomfort you felt. If you only have partial relief, you will do more rounds of Tapping. Say, “even though I still have anger (fill in the blank), I deeply and completely love myself.” Or, you may need to adjust your focus if your emotion or pain has shifted. For example, you may notice that what you felt as anger before Tapping, is now sadness, or that your headache is relieved, but you now feel pain in your jaw.
- Listen and Notice. When you complete your Tapping session, sit quietly and listen. Often answers or resolutions begin to arise spontaneously from deep within you. This happens within a couple of minutes. Notice how you no longer feel stuck and powerless because Tapping gets you out of your intellect and into your own heart and your own wisdom.
- Google “Tapping” or “EFT.” There are many websites that show the major tapping points on your body. If you are interested in working one-on-one with an EFT professional, go to http://www.eftuniverse.com/certified-eft-practitioners. You may also want to check out YouTube.com to watch Tapping videos before you begin.
If you decide to use Tapping to clear up your issues around money, remember that financial freedom begins with your beliefs about money, but also your beliefs about your own worthiness. I have been there. I changed my beliefs — and my finances. You can do the same too. None of this happened overnight. But, as my fears of being destitute on the street arose, and as I loved myself anyway, my fears gradually gave way to inner confidence — and ultimately, financial literacy and financial freedom.
So—here I am—years later. I got my daughters through college. The Wisdom of Menopause turned out to be the biggest success of my career. I have paid off the house that I once was afraid of losing. And, where that old bathtub was, I now have an entirely new bathroom.
Tap Away Beliefs That Keep You Tied To Energy Vampires
No matter what the dilemma is in your life – whether illness, grief, pain, financial distress, excess weight, bad relationships – or if you just want to be more effective in stating and implementing your goals – Tapping really can help.
The reason Tapping works is because you are shifting and then releasing energy patterns that no longer serve you. So, if you have what I call an Energy Vampire (or narcissist) in your life, Tapping can work to help you rid yourself of the beliefs that keep you stuck in your relationship and that can haunt you even after you have released an Energy Vampire from your life.
The beliefs and feelings that keep you in relationships with Energy Vampires include:
- Feeling responsible for other people’s feelings. Most of us know that our feelings are our responsibility; others’ feelings are their responsibility. However, empaths often find themselves taking on the feelings of others.
- Thinking it’s your job to fix someone. You feel you must rescue the other person and help them fit into an image of the way you believe things “should be.”
- Having intense feelings of shame. Typically, people who have narcissistic parents feel shame on a deep level and believe that they must serve their parents or suffer the consequences, including emotional and physical abuse.
- Needing to be perfect. Having a narcissistic or mentally ill sibling or parent can leave you feeling like everything is your fault. It’s common to beat yourself by working too hard, restricting food, or trying to be perfect in other ways and always feeling like you fall short.
- Blaming yourself for your good fortune. Empaths who are involved with narcissists often think that blaming themselves and feeling guilty protects them somehow from the narcissist’s moods and bad behavior.
- Feeling you are not good enough. Many empaths involved with narcissists feel that they are “not good enough” and that they have to earn love.
If you have any of these feelings or emotional patterns, you are a target for Energy Vampires. The good news is that Tapping on whatever you’re feeling helps to release those feelings and free yourself from the emotional patterns that keep you stuck in relationships with Energy Vampires. For example, you can use the phrase “Even though I feel that I am not good enough, I love and respect myself.” Or, “Even though I punish myself by trying to be perfect, I love and respect myself.”
There are many resources to help you get started with Tapping. Here are a few that I find essential:
- The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living, by Nick Ortner.
- The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner.
- The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief: A Step-by-Step Guide to Reducing and Eliminating Chronic Pain, by Nick Ortner.