From Feeling Punished…to Tasting the Sweetness of Life

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.


I recently received a letter from a woman who was responding to the interview I did with Jorge Cruise about the special dangers of sugar in women over 40. She was very concerned about the fact that many of the products Cruise recommends can’t be found in her area of the country. And she also has a nut allergy. Desiring to have sweets now and again, but worried about whether or not the products he recommends might contain nuts, she wrote, “Must I be punished twice?” I was so struck by that choice of words and the victim mentality they revealed that I felt called to point out a way for this woman to turn around her thinking.

So let me expound upon this for a moment. Creating health and flourishing mean taking full responsibility for whatever is going on in your life, warts and all. Taking responsibility is not the same as being to blame. It simply means putting yourself in the driver’s seat of your life, and choosing your responses carefully because this enhances your ability to change things.

Remember: Words are powerful. They matter. The words we choose shape our experience. They create the story we tell ourselves. And the story we tell ourselves becomes our biology. Quite literally, our cells believe the stories we tell ourselves and they respond accordingly. So please. Learn how to monitor your thoughts and words.

Do you feel punished? Cast aside? Abandoned? Left out? There is absolutely no power in staying in these states—except the power of staying stuck and having a culturally-approved excuse for what’s going on in your life. It’s fine to feel the emotion you are feeling. Punished is not an emotion, by the way. Angry is a better word. All emotions are signaling a need that isn’t being met.

In this case, the woman who wrote me needs to experience the sweetness of life without deprivation. This is perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable. To get her need met, I recommend she say to herself and to the universe: “I have a need to feel the sweetness of life, including in my food. I now ask the Universe to assist me in attracting that sweetness.”

At the same time, I recommend taking action, such as going on the Internet and ordering some of the sweet ingredients that Jorge Cruise recommends. I did. The malitol syrup (a sugar alcohol) came in the mail yesterday. And I made his brownie recipe, which I downloaded from his Web site, complete with chocolate sauce. No sugar. Great chocolate taste. I also added walnuts. It was easy! And it was a lovely sweet way to top off the day!

Last Updated: February 25, 2010

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.

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