The lotus flower represents rebirth, renewal, and spiritual awakening. But, the beautiful flower that you see floating effortlessly on top of the water had to work really hard to blossom. Lotus flowers actually grow out of the mud at the bottom of a river or pond and have to break through the mud before they surface on top of the water.
Breaking through the mud in our own lives helps us to blossom as well—it’s like a breaking though to our true selves. But in order to blossom, we have to look inward and bring our attention toward removing whatever blocks are holding us back. Maybe it’s feelings of shame, or an illness, or a relationship.
And there can be a lot of things hiding in our mud puddles. We don’t have to uncover everything at once. Healing takes place layer by layer, like peeling an onion. But, it’s impossible to manifest anything new or good in our lives if we’re not willing to stir up our personal mud somewhat.
Here are some ways you can start to break through your own mud, and truly transform your life:
Tip 1: Be Honest with Yourself
Truth is the pillar of spiritual awakening. We cannot grow without it. Whenever we explain away our behaviors, or sugarcoat the truth, we pay the consequences, usually in the form of illness or drama. For example, for many years, I simply went along with what my family—and later my husband—wanted to do, such as hiking, sports, or skiing, even though I have always preferred dancing, watching movies, and reading.
I believed that if I didn’t participate in what they wanted to do, no one would want to be with me. Though this belief was largely unconscious for most of my life, I have now sifted through this mud long enough so that the belief and the behavior it birthed has gone—from both my life and my body. While the truth may hurt; it will set you free.
Tip 2: Stop Resisting Change
In my last blog I wrote about overcoming your fear of change. Many of us panic when faced with change and we “grab the bull by the horns” in order to control and fix things. But often that control just serves to reinforce our deep-rooted problems. At a certain point, we must surrender to what is and just stop trying to control every outcome. Otherwise our bodies, our fascia, and our nervous systems all get “stuck” in rigid patterns that invite disease and disability.
Tip 3: Come Clean
This is a loaded phrase. But, coming clean simply means stop hiding behind your “stuff.” Your “stuff” may be food, alcohol, drama, or any other addiction. Or, it could simply be coming clean emotionally with someone in your life in order to develop a more meaningful relationship. This isn’t easy. In fact, “coming clean” is about the hardest thing ever.
Relationship expert Alison Armstrong, author of The Queen’s Code has a phrase for this: “Cough it up, blow it up, clean it up.
When you come clean and tell the truth, you can be sure that it will blow up an old pattern in your life. And it might even end a relationship. But living a lie is far worse over time. Sometimes coming clean requires seeking support. During your clean up phase you will feel a sudden release of toxicity in your body and with that, the freedom to flourish.
Tip 4: Forgive and Let Go
Mario Martinez, PsyD, author of The MindBody Code: How To Change the Beliefs That Limit Your Health, Longevity and Success, says, “Forgiveness is freeing ourselves from self-entrapment.”
How often do you put judgments on yourself or someone else? Do you say things like, “I have never been good at managing my money; I let my partner do that for me?” Then, when you try to make an investment, you have already set yourself up for failure. When we try to move forward without letting go, the past has a way of sneaking back into our lives. But, when we forgive and let go, we give ourselves the opportunity to breakthrough.
Very often the person you most need to forgive is yourself. To forgive yourself for whatever judgments you hold, simply say these words: “I forgive myself for judging myself for (fill in the blank)…” You can say these words silently or better yet, out loud in front of the mirror.
Tip 5: Address Your Guilt and Shame
Guilt happens when what we think we should do or be is in direct opposition to what we really want or are. And it usually comes from some warped societal demand or family pressure. Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms The Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, advises, “Guilt says ‘I made a mistake.’ Shame says, ‘I AM a mistake.'”
You can get rid of guilt simply by acknowledging that your higher self wanted you to experience whatever you feel guilty about. In other words, your higher self wanted you to enjoy that ice cream cone, or an afternoon away from your children. Once you acknowledge your higher self, you can just BE yourself.
Shame, the most painful of human emotions, can’t live in an atmosphere of humor and light. Shame is lifted when you have the courage to talk about whatever you feel ashamed about, and then are willing to receive support.
Tip 6: Celebrate Your Blossoming
Acknowledge yourself for having the courage to face your own personal mud. Celebrating yourself ends the cycle of shame and pain. Your beauty, strength and transformation shine through when you do the dirty work so to speak. Then you get to reap the benefits and wisdom from your journey. Be sure to share only with those who are truly capable of celebrating with you. Those who don’t want to get their hands in the mud simply won’t know how to support you.
How have you pushed through the mud in your life? Please leave a comment and share your advice with others.
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