Not too long ago I read a Huffington Post blog by Michelle Combs in which she enumerates the things she is too old for. I liked that she states that she loves getting older. And, enumerating the things she no longer puts up with – such as “shutting up” or making excuses for her messy house – can be empowering for many who read her blog.
As you know, letting go of the things that don’t serve you can be a huge step toward increased health and vitality. And, if you have read my book Goddesses Never Age, you know that the key to becoming ageless is not related to the number of years you have lived on this planet – rather it’s about your own wisdom. Wisdom is affected by your own experiences, preferences and thoughts. You can be wise at any age.
5 Tips for Creating Your New Year, Wise You List
With the New Year in full swing, you may have already made your list for what you want to bring into your life. If you haven’t written anything down, then I suggest you try it. Writing down your goals forces you to clarify what you want. By the same token, writing down the things you no longer will tolerate in your life – the things you are too wise for – will motivate you to overcome resistance and take action toward your goals. Both are necessary.
Since most of us are filled with motivation at the beginning of a new year, now is a great time to make your “Things I am Too Wise For” list. Here is how to get started:
- Write down some of the things you have already let go of as a reminder of how far you have come.
- Add in the things that you know you are too wise for, but haven’t quite put into action, and let the action of writing it down move you toward letting go.
- Let your list be as long or a short as you want. No pressure. This is not a one-time to-do list.
- Put your list in a place where you can see it every day, and use it for inspiration
- Add to your list as you become wiser. This can be both empowering and fun!
12 Examples of Things I am Too Wise For
I don’t believe in being “age-appropriate.” I believe that aging is optional. There is nothing I am too old for. In fact, as many of you know, I feel younger now than ever! One of the ways I have become younger is by becoming wiser. By eliminating the things I am too wise for, I have increased my value and my competence. You can too!
Here is my list of things I am too wise for:
- Believing I Need to Save Others. As a physician, I was trained to rescue others. And believe me, when someone is bleeding or in pain, the tools of medicine are wonderful and amazing. But, my rescuer mindset can go way too far, and can even disempower the very people I have been trying to help. So, I acknowledge that I am not their Higher Power. They have their own. It’s such a relief to allow people to find their own answers and not think that I know what’s best for them.
- Weighing Myself Every Day. Like many women, I spent decades allowing the number on the bathroom scale to determine the quality of my day. I’m now far too wise for that. My weight has been up and it has been down. Quite frankly, I’ve found that my happiness is pretty much an inside job that isn’t related to my weight.
- Withholding My True Beliefs About My Spirituality. This past solstice, I held a ceremony and I brought it — full on! I called in the Archangels and the 4 Directions, and I smudged everyone. Then I did Divine Love petitions for all participants. Finally, I danced around the fire. I didn’t hold back. I just allowed myself to officiate in the way that felt best to me. I suspended all concern about “what others would think.” Of course, this was in my backyard. But, I started the process of being myself and acting on my true beliefs.
- Being Hesitant About My Creativity. This year I took up “process painting”— just taking a brush to paper and allowing my inner self to choose the colors, the shapes, and the timing. WOW! I have loved this process. I realized that everyone – myself included — is born creative. We all have individual styles. And, they are expressed in a way that no one else can possibly imitate. I have found this exhilarating.
- Spending Time with People Who Don’t Inspire or Uplift Me. This includes putting up with negative people – you know, those people who complain about their spouses, their jobs, their kids, their health or their families without being able to tap into their power to improve their situations. I am now wise enough to love my own company. I no longer need to be with people just so that I won’t be alone. In fact, nothing is lonelier than being with people who drain my energy and have nothing to offer. I now love my own company so much that loneliness is a thing of the past. It’s so liberating.
- Caring That I Don’t Fit In. I’ve been an outlier most of my life — in medicine, in college, in my town, in life in general. When one of my daughters was about 7 years old, she asked me if I was a doctor. I said, “Yes, I’m a doctor.” She said, “Well, you’re not what you’d expect.” She was right! I’ve never been what people expect. I don’t fit into any one group. Though I can merge into almost all of them, I no longer try to be someone I am not.
- Being “Appropriate.” I remember that a friend once called me to tell me her daughters told her that they didn’t want to see her dance like she did at a wedding. They were shutting her down by telling her that her exuberant dancing was “inappropriate.” My friend was far from inappropriate. She was just enjoying herself on the dance floor. What she wasn’t doing was being “dignified” and “shut down.” I am no longer dignified and shut down. I used to be. I have the home videos to prove it. But I’m wiser now.
- Finishing A Book I Don’t Like. If I read 30 pages and I don’t like it, I just stop and give the book away. It doesn’t matter if the book is considered a great classic or ingenious. If I don’t like it, it doesn’t warrant my attention. I feel the same way about television shows and movies. If I don’t like them within the first 15 minutes, they are not going to get better. Every single time I’ve stuck it out thinking that the movie simply had to get better, I’ve been disappointed. And it feels like a couple hours of life have been robbed from me.
- Speaking to Telemarketers. When the phone rings and I hear that delay on the other end, I simply hang up. Yes, I know that there is a human being on the other end doing his or her job. I bless them first – then I hang up.
- Watching or Reading Mainstream News. I’m well aware that the mainstream media is owned by special interest groups that want to keep us angry, afraid and unsure. I give my attention to the people, places, and things that are making a positive difference on the planet— not tearing it down.
- Being A Fashionista. Carry Bradshaw put designer shoes on the map for many women. But even before that, for many years, I felt a little embarrassed wearing my L.L. Bean boots to New York City in the winter. (They weren’t considered stylish then.) And, high-heeled or pointy toed shoes might look sexy, but they throw your body out of alignment. Over time, they contribute to bunions, hammer toes, and foot pain. Now I will only wear high-heels or otherwise unhealthy shoes for a couple hours once or twice a week – and only as I desire. Instead, I go barefoot whenever I can. I also wear minimal shoes so that walking is like being barefoot. As a result, I have better arches, stronger feet, and more flexibility than ever. And, not that it matters, but those L.L. Bean boots I was so embarrassed to wear have become a fashion icon!
- Worrying About My Age. I have stepped out of the cage of age altogether – I have simply become too wise for ageism. And, as I advise in my book Goddesses Never Age, I don’t state my age. I don’t think about my age. I don’t celebrate “milestone” birthdays. And, I don’t use my age as an excuse for anything. Instead, I think about taking up space, not running out of the time. I feel so strongly that my best years are all ahead.
What are you too wise for? Please share your wisdom with me in the comments section below.