The Very Real Quarter-Life Crisis

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

I’m sure you’ve heard of a midlife crisis. But there’s another transition, called the quarter-life crisis, which can be equally trying. Your quarter-life is the time when you transition to adulthood, and usually coincides with graduating from college until about age 30. It can be downright terrifying to be on your own for the first time and to realize that your formal education didn’t prepare you for the real world.

The quarter-life crisis is more prevalent than ever. People are graduating from college at a time when the tried and true formula for success—go to a good school, get good grades, and then go to work for a company that provides benefits—is rapidly becoming an obsolete path! Today’s young men and women returning from military service are finding the job market even more difficult than those who are just emerging from colleges.

The twenties are a time when you sample a lot of what is out there in hopes of figuring out what you want to do with your life. And though the world is vast and there is a lot to sample, the sobering truth is that these years can be a most difficult time. Even with deliberate thought, you can find yourself on a path—in your relationships and your career—that doesn’t feel right, yet not know what to do about it.

So What Is the Answer?

If you’re experiencing a quarter-life crisis (or if you know someone who is), here are five suggestions for emerging from this very real and trying life stage as a happy, healthy adult:

1. Shore up your self-esteem. Self-worth comes from making a solid contribution that society (not just your parents) recognizes. If you don’t have a job, build your marketable skills and resumé by volunteering for a cause that lights you up: an animal shelter, a program for battered women, trail maintenance for parks and walking paths, community gardening, Boys and Girls Clubs, the list goes on and on.

2. Start working with the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. I recommend John Randolph Price’s The Abundance Book with CD. This information is a concise primer on the laws of universe that govern wealth and prosperity. Here are the Cliff Notes: Each of us is part of Source energy in the same way that a bucket of water from the ocean is part of the ocean. Giving attention to the part of you that is connected with infinite abundance (Source energy) will cause your abundance to grow.

3. Become financially literate. Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Start to think of yourself as a business. Learn about corporations, taxes, living within your means, and so forth. Unfortunately schools don’t teach this, because most teachers are salaried individuals whose healthcare, pension, and vacation time are all provided for by the system. What they know how to teach is how to become more educated within the educational system. To truly thrive, a 25-year-old needs an education in the school of life, outside the walls of a university or school.

4. Don’t confuse lifelong learning with getting another degree. Our educational system confuses being educated with having yet another degree—and those degrees can cost a substantial amount of money. Many times, when a 20-something doesn’t have a clue what their calling is, they go back to school and get another degree, which, unless you are in medical school or law school, tends to simply delay the inevitable. So I recommend taking a couple of years off if you’ve been in a structured educational setting since kindergarten. Get your feet wet working with people of all ages. Look around. See what needs to be done right where you are. You may come up with a great business idea or find yourself doing the work for which you were born.

5. Think back to when you were eleven. Those preteen years are a magical time when most girls develop complex interests. These passions are often discarded when the pressures of societal norms during the teen and college years take precedence. If you’re unhappy in your job, think back to what you were interested in around the age of eleven. It can guide you to a vocation more in line with your heart’s true desire.

In closing, I have a message for the parents of a quarter-lifer. I know you want to spare your children any and all pain. But, STOP ENABLING YOUR CHILDREN. Though there are times when an adult child has to move home for economic reasons, there is never a time when a young adult should be enabled to sit around and watch TV or spend hours a day on Facebook. Ultimately, if your objective is for your children to be happy, well-adjusted adults, then enabling them is not a good strategy—even if it’s done with love.

Last Updated: October 1, 2012

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.

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  1. Allison
    11 years ago

    Not all teachers work in “the system” you describe, especially at the post-secondary level. In colleges and universities today, about 70% of teachers are classified as “part-time,” earn near-poverty wages, and typically do not receive benefits. I am one of them. I teach four classes a semester at a community college, I earn $20,000 a year before taxes, and I do not receive health insurance. I am hired and fired each semester. There is plenty of economic insecurity within the “system”!

  2. Allison
    11 years ago

    I also disagree with the comment about teachers and the ‘system.’ While this may be accurate for K-12 education, at the post-secondary level over half (usually around 70%) of college teachers are part-time, earning near poverty wages, and not receiving benefits. I am 29 and teach four classes a semester at a community college, but I do not get health insurance and make $20,000 a year before taxes! Thus, within ‘the system’ there is much economic insecurity as well!

  3. Belinda
    11 years ago

    My daughter took an ELECTIVE class in high school on money management. The whole semester was an assignment of making a budget & running a household with kids, trying to stay on budget on a low fixed income. Wonderful for her! The subject is taught in some schools, altho not mandatory. She has since soared, now she the poster child for management, time & money both! I agree it is not the teachers. I also referred her to this article. She just turned 21 & said she needed it!

  4. Christiane Northrup
    11 years ago

    Thanks for these comments. And also the heads up about teachers. It’s not the teachers, of course, it’s the system and mentality in which most of them work! Same with doctors and medicine. I played the Cash Flow Game repeatedly during my midlife crisis. And it was what helped me turn the corner and see myself and my life as a business. And helped my quarter life daughters too! Never too early to start this conversation!

  5. Teresa
    11 years ago

    I am sharing this one. My worst birthday was 27.

  6. Wendy
    11 years ago

    As a matter of fact, schools do teach classes on financial literacy. I am also disappointed in your comment regarding teachers. Perhaps the twenty somethings are trying to maintain the life-style they’ve become accustomed to when they lived with their parents, without the income to support it. In the class my kids have taken, they have learned that the new iphone is a want, not a need.

  7. Susie
    11 years ago

    My son turned 26 this week and at dinner commented he was having a “quarter-century” life crisis. How ironic that this article should appear the next day in my emails. Can’t wait to share it with him so that he will see – he is not the only young person feeling what he is feeling-it is all about the journey!!! Thanks so much..

  8. ElsAnna
    11 years ago

    And also with my 2 beloved Sons 🙂

  9. Evie
    11 years ago

    Thanks so much for your article and to the people who made some great comments. All are extremely helpful. My dad says it’s a luxury to have a quarter life crisis – he says he was too busy working to question whether he was having one! I don’t discount his comments, but I can’t help feeling what I feel and struggling a bit, despite my best attempts to work really hard. I now feel less alone moving forward into adulthood, with a bit of extra guidance to help me do so. Thank you 🙂

  10. Ann
    11 years ago

    Love this Blog and will be sharing it with my 25 year old daughter whom I believe could use a bit of reassurance she is not alone!!
    Thanks again Dr.Northrup

  11. Carla
    11 years ago

    Thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom as always. We have 4 children age 19 -26 who are navigating this stage right now, and thankfully doing very very well. We purchased the game Cash Flow Quadrant (by author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad) when they were early teenagers and played it often. HIGHLY recommend it…a great way to teach financial reality to your children (and yourself) in a safe fun setting. DON”T balk at the price of it…will be the best money you EVER spent!

  12. Deirdre
    11 years ago

    Stephanie- so well said! Ditto that for me too.
    Thank you Dr. Northrup!

  13. France
    11 years ago

    I agree on many of your points, but am disappointed with your comment on why financial literacy is not taught in schols (teachers are individuals with benefits provided for by the system). Althought this may not be the intention, it feels like teachers are being blamed. Teachers often do not decide on the curriculum. And the reason why budgeting is not incorporated in schools is due to governement decisions like NCLB and the emphasis on testing and on certain subjects only.

  14. Patti
    11 years ago

    Thank you for the reminder for us parents to take a few steps back … to allow our 20 something year olds to learn and truly experience the ropes of their own financial management. It’s been my shoulder weight for years, only because my son keeps falling and failing his own capabilities. I know he’s very capable. How can we guide to better self-motiviation. He’s the oldest of our four, and he seems to be at a standstill. Perhaps “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” needs to visit my house.

  15. Martine
    11 years ago

    Learned that yesterday in Al-Anon, especially the stop-enabling part. My daughter moved back with me to finish college and I see her very stressed. Thank you for putting a workable plan for me to detach from her pain and envision support for her at the same time. Time to put “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” at work.

  16. Stephanie
    11 years ago

    I knew I wasn’t crazy- and an even clearer understanding now why I have been diagnosed with Adrenal fatigue at 30- I was swimming against my own tide, building a man made damn stopping my own Spiritual flow, succumbing to society expectations and ‘surviving’ in a quarter life crisis. Everything month you inspire, uplift & nurture my sould, thank you Dr. Northrup (y que viva el Tango!)

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