Sexual Confidence

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Reviewed March 2017

Here are some tips for boosting your sexual confidence. All right, let’s just start with the territory. Here’s the territory. When you’re a little girl or a little boy, you begin to see airbrushed images of idealized bodies so early on that you begin to think something is wrong with you if you have a normal body. My daughter re-tweeted something that I loved that said, I wish I had known how hot I was in my teens. Like I was looking through old pictures and I saw how hot, but I thought I looked terrible, which is very often the case.

So, to boost your sexual confidence, you have to start by loving the body you’re in or at least liking the body you’re in, and you also need to understand, now I’m assuming that you’re a woman listening to this since most of my listeners are women, I want you to know guys don’t care as much about how you look as you think they do unless you got a hopelessly narcissistic guy, and that can happen, but we’re not talking about that because that’s not the norm. Women are their own worst enemies, and so you need to start thinking of yourself as looking hot and being hot.  One of the things that I like about the star Mo’Nique is this is a woman who, by all of our cultural standards, is overweight. Has that stopped her from thinking she’s the hottest thing on the planet? Absolutely not. She’s in your face with how hot she is at what I would consider 60 pounds over what would be ideal or healthy.

So take your cue from women who do not look like the cultural ideal and are certain that they’re the hottest thing ever born and practice yourself.  I’m going to give you a little exercise. This one is really very effective. When you’re home in your bathroom just having come out of a bath or a shower, I want you to turn the lights down really low or turn them off altogether, light a candle, and I want you to begin admiring your skin in the dimmed light. Just admire your skin, stroke your skin until you begin to see that the very act of admiring your body in that way begins to create a glow within you.

And also please understand that sexuality is nothing more than life force. Your body was created by sexuality. Your body was created by an egg and a sperm coming together, and your body was created by an orgasm.  So therefore, you are a sexual being. It’s just the way it is. It’s why sex sells.

So get in the game and start, particularly now because it’s springtime. It’s this wonderful rising of energy, the sap is rising. Start to talk to yourself as though you are a sexy woman.  Breathe in the essence of sexuality.

Think about the women who you consider really sexy. So, it might be Salma Hayek or Angelina Jolie or someone of that nature who you think is sexy. Breathe in their essence. Pretend they’re walking beside you for 30 seconds twice a day. Breathe in their essence. And that’s how you become sexually confident.

If there’s any guys listening to this (and I hope there are) please understand the biggest boost to a woman’s sexual confidence is knowing that she is desirable. Please understand also that the G spot is in her ears. Women are turned on by words. Tell her she looks hot. And if she ever says to you, do I look fat in this, plead the Fifth Amendment, don’t ever answer that question.

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. Recognizing the unity of body, mind, and spirit, she empowers women to trust their inner wisdom, their connection with Source, and their ability to truly flourish.


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