Though we’ve come a long way in society in a relatively short period of time, old archetypal patterns still exist in our society. We are programmed to await the knight on the white horse to bail us out financially. This old mythology is far from dead; in fact it’s the basis for nearly every Disney fairy tale we’ve been brought up with (except Mulan).
Do you remember any gender differences with money when you were growing up? Are there any disparities in your current situation? For example, whose name are the investments in? Whose name are the house, the car, and the insurance in? Whose name is the pension plan in? Many women live in a situation in which their earnings are put into “jointly owned” assets such as the house and the car while their husbands own businesses or investments in their own name, (which is all too often in a private stash).
Uncovering Female Money Beliefs
The money a woman has was up until very recently, referred to as “pin money,” an archaic term stemming from the time that women were expected to repair all the family clothing. Today, men often make major financial expenditures and donations without consulting their wives, while women almost always feel the need to “ask permission” before investing money, making a donation, or in many cases, even buying a dress!
Women are supposed to think about everyone else’s needs first—and defer their own needs until they have fulfilled everyone else’s. The problem with this construct, however, is that when you look at the world through this lens, the needs of others are endless. If a woman doesn’t defer her needs to those of others she is labeled selfish—the worst thing a woman can be called in this culture. And this is why the subject of money, power, and women is very controversial. If a woman wants to focus on her wealth, her abundance, she is labeled a selfish b-t-h. But if a man focuses on his wealth, he is called a real go-getter.
Listen to Your Body
When you say the word millionaire, does a man or woman come to mind? Is wealth coded on the Y-chromosome? Clearly, breaking out of the damsel/knight pattern takes courage and consciousness. For many women, the spell is broken only through divorce, death, or illness—which commonly occur at midlife. Happily, this needn’t be the case. You can change the pattern at any time! And the sooner the better.
Learn More — Additional Resources
- The Courage To Be Rich: Creating a Life of Material and Spiritual Abundance, by Suze Orman. Visit www.suzeorman.com.
- As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
- The Nine Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying by Suze Orman
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki
- The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason
- Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez, Vicki Robin
- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
- The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder
